thedeadparrot's fanfiction 
Nightvision
Fandom
House
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07.02.08
Beautiful (It's The Inside That Counts)
Fandoms: HouseHouse/Wilson | 1,845 words | PG
It's hard to regret anything, though. Wilson can't unlearn the things the experience has taught her, wouldn't even want to try. Sequel to When He Was A Girl (You'll Be A Woman Soon Remix).
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07.02.08
When He Was A Girl (You'll Be A Woman Soon Remix)
Fandoms: HouseHouse/Wilson | 2,835 words | R
One day, Wilson wakes up as a woman.
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03.01.08
The Old Path
Fandoms: HouseForeman, Cuddy | PG | 3,297 words
On the first day of training, the Order gives Foreman a sword.
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02.19.08
Corporate Conspiracies For Dummies, Or A Mathletes Valentine's Day Special
Fandoms: House, Stargate AtlantisHouse/McKay | R | 1,265 words
In which there's a date, a movie, and confessions. Sort of.
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11.19.07
Stage Five
Fandoms: HouseHouse, Wilson | PG | 480 words
Five years ago, House managed to convince Wilson to put up a poster of Rebel Without A Cause in his office, across from the desk, so that Wilson would see it every day.
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07.04.07
Stateless
Fandoms: House, Stargate AtlantisSheppard/Wilson | NC-17 | 3,010 words
John runs into the guy across the hall, and things just snowball from there. Not part of the Mathletes-verse.
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06.13.07
Canada Is Awfully Nice In The Summer, Or How To Scare Off Potential Future Boyfriends In Two Easy Steps
Fandoms: House, Stargate AtlantisHouse/McKay | PG | 495 words
"Shhh," House says, waving Wilson off with a glare and hand motions. "I'm trying to stalk someone."
Takes place sometime after High School Is Not Another Name For Hell, Or How Rodney Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Prom Part of the Mathletes-verse.
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06.03.07
Summer Rain, Or When You Stop Taking Chances, You Stay Where You Sit
Fandoms: House, Stargate AtlantisHouse/McKay | R | 680 words
"Never really liked summers," Rodney says. An interlude to High School Is Not Another Name For Hell, Or How Rodney Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Prom. Part of the Mathletes-verse.
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06.03.07
Undressing Like Cross-Eyed Strangers, Or It's Not Paranoia If The Universe Really Is Out To Get You
Fandoms: House, Stargate AtlantisHouse/McKay | R | 4,657 words
In which there's a plague in Atlantis, connections are remade, and Rodney doesn't actually shoot House in the face. Sequel to High School Is Not Another Name For Hell, Or How Rodney Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Prom . Part of the Mathletes-verse.
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06.03.07
The One Where House Has Always Been A Woman
Fandoms: HouseHouse/Wilson | PG | 1,488 words
Despite the hospital gossip, House is not, in fact, a man-hating lesbian.
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06.03.07
The One Where House Is A Zombie
Fandoms: HouseHouse, Wilson | PG-13 | 3,053 words
House comes back as a zombie.
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05.30.07
High School Is Not Another Name For Hell, Or How Rodney Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Prom
Fandoms: House, Stargate AtlantisHouse/McKay | PG-13 | 5,965 words
In which a new kid shows up at Rodney's high school, Mathlympics are had, and Rodney does, in fact, learn to love the prom. First in the Mathletes-verse.
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05.30.07
Bytecode (You Are Still In The Matrix Remix)
Fandoms: HouseHouse/Stacy, House/Wilson | PG | 1,100 words
Five times House unplugged and thought he was somewhere else.
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05.30.07
Heartbeats
Fandoms: HouseHouse/Wilson | PG | 858 words
Three moments in which House and Wilson are almost kind of functional.
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05.05.07
The One Where They Get Turned Into Penguins
Fandoms: HouseHouse/Wilson | PG | 2,552 words
House and Wilson get turned into penguins.
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05.05.07
Stuck In A Moment
Fandoms: HouseHouse, Wilson | PG | 832 words
He lost a patient on Wednesday, and it hurts the way all his failures do, sharp and bitter, with a hint of regret.
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04.04.07
Women I Have Loved
Fandoms: Battlestar Galactica, Fullmetal Alchemist, House, Lord Of The Rings, SupermanHawkeye, Roslin, Lois, Cuddy, Èowyn | PG | 841 words
Five characters. Five unconnected ficlets.
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04.04.07
The One Where Wilson Finds A Triceratops In His Office
Fandoms: HouseHouse/Wilson | PG-13 | 2,318 words
Wilson finds a triceratops in his office.
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04.04.07
The One Where They're Girls
Fandoms: HouseHouse/Wilson | R | 805 words
"I've always wanted to be a lesbian," House said, feeling up his chest in the cafeteria.
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04.04.07
One Thing Wilson Doesn't Know About House
Fandoms: HouseHouse, Wilson | G | 369 words
Just a snippet of House's childhood.
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04.04.07
Things To Do Before You Die
Fandoms: HouseHouse/Wilson | PG-13 | 1,682 words
In which Wilson turns thirty-eight and a half, thinks about kittens, and doesn't have a midlife crisis. But not necessarily in that order.
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04.04.07
Gravity Always Wins
Fandoms: Battlestar Galactica, HouseHouse/Wilson | PG | 845 words
At this point, it's not a matter of "if" so much as "when", but they still haven't talked about it at all. They need to. At some point. In the near future. Yet more of the House/BSG universe. Takes place between A Song To Keep Us Warm and The Drying Of Your Tears
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01.29.07
Simple Things
Fandoms: HouseWilson/Cuddy | PG-13 | 1,073 words
She could lie to him, tell him it was about the baby, tell him it was because they'd fallen madly in love, tell him that they aren't sleeping together at all. But it's really all so much simpler than that.
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01.20.07
Singapore
Fandoms: HouseHouse/Wilson | NC-17 | 7,981 words
In which the boys go to a medical conference in Singapore, House has a few surprises up his sleeve, and Wilson figures some things out.
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01.20.07
The Drying Of Your Tears
Fandoms: Battlestar Galactica, HouseHouse/Wilson | PG-13 | 3,051 words
House and Wilson deal with their issues. Sort of. Takes place between Breathe, Keep Breathing and Gravity Always Wins
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01.20.07
All Your Insides Fall To Pieces
Fandoms: House, SandmanDespair, Cuddy, Wilson, House | PG | 518 words
Despair watches
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11.27.06
The Eraser
Fandoms: HouseHouse, Wilson | PG-13 | 888 words
Post Whac-A-Mole, House deals with his guilt in the best way he can (which is to say, not at all).
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11.25.06
Dr. House and the Not Bad, Pretty Good Day
Fandoms: HouseHouse | PG | 1,608 words
In which House skips out on clinic duty, insults his fellows, hides from Cuddy, and steals Wilson's Jello.
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11.25.06
A Song To Keep Us Warm
Fandoms: Battlestar Galactica, HouseHouse/Wilson | PG-13 | 3,022 words
House and Wilson and New Caprica. Sequel to Gravity Always Wins
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11.25.06
Breathe, Keep Breathing
Fandoms: Battlestar Galactica, HouseHouse/Wilson | PG-13 | 3,425 words
They were on their way to a medical conference when the Cylons hit.
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11.25.06